


Strategic Operation

by Okaasan59



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-30 01:43:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10150367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Okaasan59/pseuds/Okaasan59
Summary: Heero and Duo make an interesting find while searching an abandoned military office.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a Lemon Advent Fic, 2010.

“It’s creepy in here.”

Duo ran his finger over the dust that lay on top of the computer  
monitor. He blew the dust off his finger which started the pages of a  
five-year-old calendar fluttering which in turn stirred up more dust.

“And a health hazard,” he said between coughs. “Not to mention the ghosts.”

“There are no ghosts. No one died in here,” Heero said as he opened  
the battery packs which would power the computers long enough for  
information retrieval.

“Still pretty creepy, though.” Duo looked around the abandoned office  
with its maze of cubicles, all decorated for a Christmas long ago and  
quickly abandoned by its one-time inhabitants. He poked at a stained  
coffee mug that had once been full, judging by the darkened rings  
inside. Its contents were now reduced to a crust on the bottom of the  
cup. A small tree, once festive with colorful ornaments was now gray  
with dust.

“I wish we were allowed to decorate our office for Christmas,” Duo  
sighed. “Why does Preventers have to be so strict? Two framed  
photos, one plant and one calendar just doesn’t work for me. I need  
to assert my individuality while I slave away in my mass-produced  
office cubicle.”

Duo was well-known in the Preventer office for doing his best to flout  
the restrictive workspace policy. He’d taped as many silly photos and  
pithy sayings as he could to the inside of the cabinet doors in his  
cubicle. One shelf and several drawers held action figures, toy  
soldiers, rubber band launchers and novelty items. The doors and  
drawers of his work space were frequently flung wide open so that he  
could see all of his acquisitions at once, resulting in his office  
looking as if it had been ransacked by a miniature army. In the event  
of a surprise visit from Une or Zechs, the doors could all be easily  
closed and the cubicle neat again in a matter of seconds. Duo thought  
his system worked pretty well.

And maybe that’s why he sympathized with the former staff at this  
military base. When the building next to theirs had taken a direct  
hit, the employees were hurriedly evacuated and then not allowed to  
return when their own building was declared unsafe. The strategic  
missile program had been abandoned, the base closed down and this  
office building forgotten until recently. Preventers had sent Duo and  
Heero to retrieve any sensitive information that may have been left  
behind. Duo doubted that anything five years old could still be  
considered sensitive but he figured he was only being paid to retrieve  
the stuff, not analyze it.

“The Preventers’ work space policy is not intended to suppress  
individual expression, but to foster a sense of neatness and  
efficiency,” Heero said in monotone.

“Shit, Heero. That could be a quote directly from the Preventer handbook.”

“It is. Which you would know if you’d read it.”

Duo had worked with Heero long enough to hear the undercurrent of  
humor in that statement.

“Touché,’ he chuckled as he grabbed one of the battery packs and a  
portable hard drive and set to work copying files.

Two hours and a dozen or so slightly off-key renditions of Christmas  
carols later he was finished with all the computers in the office and  
started down the hall to look for Heero. He found his partner just  
finishing up in the mainframe room. Several large photos of the  
missile facility lined the walls but it was something hanging over the  
doorway that caught Duo’s eye.

Heero finished packing his bags and joined Duo at the doorway.  
Together they gazed up at what appeared to be a dildo with a paper  
cut-out of attached feet. A few flakes of remaining paint on the side  
of the dildo showed that it had been painted to resemble one of the  
missiles in the photos.

Duo started chuckling. “Those aren’t feet, they’re toes!”

“Toes?”

“Yeah, I thought they were feet but see how it’s just the portion with  
the toes? And this,” he said as he pointed to the dildo, “is a  
missile. See?”

Heero looked back at the missile photos which he had to admit, did  
bear a resemblance to the painted dildo.

“It’s missile-toes, Heero! Get it? Like mistletoe? That’s great!  
Only military geeks would do something like this. I’m gonna have to  
remember this next time I make my clandestine holiday decorations. Hm,  
I wonder if I can put it over the door and still manage to hide it  
from Une?”

“Why put it over the door? Why not just hide it in your cabinet with  
the rest of your stuff?”

“You can’t put mistletoe in the cabinet, Heero! It defeats the whole purpose.”

“Which is?”

“Well, you know,” Duo gestured to the top of the door, “it’s for…you know.”

“No, I don’t. That’s why I’m asking.”

Duo sighed. “You hang it in the doorway and then…

“And then?” Heero asked impatiently.

“…and you, well, the whole point is to trick someone into standing  
under it and then you…mmppff…”

Duo nearly staggered into the door frame when Heero kissed him. His  
hands grabbed reflexively for Heero’s shirt and his eyes slid shut.  
When they finally came up for air several minutes later, Duo looked  
stunned.

Heero looked smug. “I spent the last thirty minutes trying to figure  
out how to get you under that thing. Thanks for making it easy.”

“You ass.” Duo smacked Heero in the shoulder but he was smiling.

“I think you definitely need one of these in your office, Duo.”

He leaned in towards his partner and they kissed again under the “missile toe.”

The End.


End file.
